Maybe she figured it was okay because I was doing it.But I fucking wasn't and she fucking knew it! She KNEW she was everything to me. GOD. I was going round and round in my head, looking for some fucking answer and it was driving me fucking crazy. I kept bouncing around in there, my thoughts careening off my freaking skull, pounding over me. I. JUST. COULDN'T. DO. THIS. ANY. MORE.I kept making excuses. I kept trying to figure out what I had done to cause this. I kept pinning this shit back on me ... but the truth was that it wasn't me. This had been going on long before I came into the picture. She'd fucking said so ... but I didn't want to hear that did I? No. I fucking didn't want to believe that anyone I loved could fucking rip my fucking guts out and watch me slowly bleed to fucking death.As always I was willing to bear the brunt. I was willing to be the fucking doormat that the whole goddamn world could walk right over. Welcome, just dry your fucking feet off on the Marc. Don't. Mothercame up behind me and patted me on the butt. Startled; I spun around, tofind her standing there; rather than some young guy. Or. God forbid:some odious old lecher. "Gad! Mother! You scared the bugger out of me. Ithought you were a guy getting fresh with me." "My goodness Honey --don't be so skittish. I just came over to tell you; that I will be overthere, in the breeding and pregnancy section. I'm not finding what I amlooking for. So it will be a while yet before we can leave." Mother thentook one of the offerings off the rack and looked it over. Then she heldit up to me saying. "These are sexy. Why don't you pick out two orthree. You can wear them around the house for me. When you are done,come over and help me look. Oh -- and don't worry about shoes. I've gotseveral sexy ones at home for you. That is, unless you see some youcan't live without." Then Mother gave me a juicy peck on the forehead,handed me the skimpy thing and was off. Apparently she had done moreshopping for me.
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